Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just invented taco cereal.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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