I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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