my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
