Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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