Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
