I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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