He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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