You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
