The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
