Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'm both gender and math confused
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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