did you get engaged???
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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