did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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