I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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