so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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