he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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