yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Girls should come with a carfax report
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
