break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
