Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
