I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
