i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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