He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
