I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
