you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
