hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
