Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
