she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
