so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
