Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you have to choose: penises or morals?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
