I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
