can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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