'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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