I wannas sexs uuuuu
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
This house was built for laser tag.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Randomize
