you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
