love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize