Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
