things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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