Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I need moral support for this bender
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize