I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
