I just pynch a tree in the face
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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