shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
