Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
