is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
