I wanna bring you to show and tell
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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