You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
