Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
