I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
