yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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