I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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