we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
