3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
