can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We had sex on a dog bed..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
