I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
