dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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