Fuck appropriateness.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
