Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize