his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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