The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
