how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize