there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
